If you are an evangelical like me, you were delighted to hear of Rick Santorum’s victory in both the Minnesota, Missouri and Colorado primaries yesterday. Finally we have a candidate who lives up to the standard set forth by our Lord Jesus.
Rick Santorum is strong on marriage, as in he hates and fears gays. Proverbs 12:4 Describes how Jesus rode through the dessert slaughtering gay’s indiscriminately “…and so the Jesus set off with a mighty cudgel and painted the dessert red with the blood of the sodomites”. I expect Santorum to do something similar.
The Bible also describes how Jesus hated free loading poor people, like my man Rick. “Smother thine orphans, drown thine elderly, and drink the blood of the infirmed” Leviticus 6:9. Rick Santorum knows that Jesus was hard as hell and showed no mercy upon his fellow man. He chooses all the right biblical passages to follow and ignores all the boring ones (loving your fellow man, helping the less fortunate and other filler section of the good book).
Rick Santorum understands that America is a diverse place. He knows we need to wipe that diversity out for good and that is why he should be the next American president. It is what Jesus would want.
